Thursday, 24 June 2010


The madness has grown
My energy has increased
I bubble and fizz and explode from myself
with a roaring laughter i hold my fists up to a sky which i don't understand
and scream with all the passion that holds deep its anchor in my stomach
that I know the secret
I have been taught it
I have read it
Life can be understood only as an "aesthetic phenomenon" (as Nietzsche says)
the whole view of the every day hangs as but a mimetic painting before our cautious eyes, we live fed on scraps in the depths of Platos cave
painting the shadows we see onto the wall in charcoal.
Dionysus, that great hero of wine and freedom
stands in the shadow knowing the true meaning
the forgetfulness of the individual and dissipation into eternity and the whole
he clasps in his hands
as we, the blind 'tragic' ants scurry beneath his feet
assigning meanings, judgments and values just to feel complete with our own egos.
we are sleeping giants dreaming our lifes games in black and white.
we need crushing.
we need that annihilation,
we need awakening
at the moment we are hostages.

It makes so much sense to me now
now that I have learnt
it is a tired cliche to say, but the veil is cast aside
the light of the sun is shining through
blinding with glorious effulgence
I am born anew under these two opposing Greek signs
how one is a stepping stone to the other

Henry Rollins & Henry Miller have made me fall in love with everything
I am in love with everything
I find pleasure in everything
I love that more than any other part of my personality at this present time
the naive, the ugly, the annoying, the lazy, the broken, the incomplete, the irrelevant
everythings personality is as tremendous as a new dawn.
I lay giddy in the gutters, studying the dirt.

The madness has increased
I have written 15 pages in 7 days and it doesnt look like its stopping.

the search has begun.
today I understood that i must seek out meaning physically
I must not just contemplate on how it can be found.

Eros, if I close my eyes will you guide me through?
attach yourself to me as you did Mother Earth
you're all I need.
you're all I see