Dear you
It has now been 5 Days since we have spoken. That is the longest amount of time we've gone without talking in the 3 years we've known each other. I have feared the slow separation and dissolving of our conversation since we broke up, turns out I was right in my predictions.
I realise I am being paranoid, I realise I am being ridiculous.
Things have happened recently which I would have liked to talk to you about, in truth the only reason I have not rung you is because I always do, I wanted to see if you would ring, I wanted to see if you would bother to contact me out of just wanting to talk instead of when you get bored as always happens.
But I am still in the mindset of our situation as karma, I have 5 months left until my slate is clean.
But I fear by then our conversation will have dissolved further still
but to be honest I have no idea where it could go from here.

When I do talk to you I get upset that I can hear the plain tone in your voice,
you never sound excited anymore.

My optimism breeds contempt
I would be better off thinking nothing will happen again
but there's a part of me that knows it will.
because I feel like every day not talking to you is another connection broken
another realisation that you really do take me for granted
and that you really don't care for me as much as you think you do.

I feel like shit
every option has been exhausted.
There is nothing left to do aside from sit back
and watch our friendship slowly fall apart.

x